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March 9, 2010 |
Prince
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I don't have to be a Prince. I don't need to stand up tall. No stiffened, regal upper lip, no matter should I fall. There is no disgrace in weakness, in body or in mind. I smile at some girl no shame should she not respond in kind. I dream men look on awestruck, better yet with jealousy, when I should be proud of who I am, not who I want to be. Others need not seem inadequate, I be adequate myself. I'm alike, no prideful principal, that I be something else. And perhaps my burnt ambition, to be too good to be true, holds implicit in itself, the best I cannot do. And if one day, of all these things I can, myself, convince. Then on that day, just maybe, I'll at last, be crowned, a Prince. |
A few years ago, in one of many desperate attempts to sort out my then miserable health, I tried EFT or the emotional freedom technique.
As far as I can see it uses acu-pressure points and a bit of psychology to remove hang-ups and issues. As I recall, during the session,
the practitioner was asking me to try to think of something I would like to feel better about. I wasn't co-operating so she asked me to
just say whatever popped into my mind. I was watching a lot of the cartoon Dragonball Z at the time and mentioned that in my life I felt like the character Vegeta. He is a Prince but has never been treated as such. In fact he spends most of his life being bullied and abused. His every waking hour is dedicated to being the greatest warrior so everyone will bow down to him etc. There are a few moments over this epic Manga where he starts to realise that although he is not the strongest he is very, very smart and has other things to contribute. Anyone who has experience of EFT will be amused to hear that I spent the next few minutes repeating "Even though I'm not a Prince, I accept myself..." over and over while the probably quite bemused practitioner tapped various pressure points on my body. Needless to say I didn't believe a word of what I was saying. However the next day a lot of the chronic tension in my head and neck that was so painful at the time began to melt away and in my euphoria I wrote this poem. It sounds like quite an endorsement for the treatment, although soon after my health took a serious downturn with my digestion pretty much giving up on me. Nothing comes for free I guess... |
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Anyway, although I originally meant "Prince" to be just a poem I have nonetheless set it to music a few times. At the moment however, I think this reading catches the idea best. It's still one of my favourite verses that really comforts me when I try too hard. Given that for a while I was actually trying to be (the artist formerly and subsequently known as) Prince it's got a double meaning in the title. |
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